Friday the 13th.
There are people who might call me borderline superstitious, but this particular date has never bothered me or caused me to be extra cautious when it comes around. This particular date still does not bother me or cause me to be extra cautious when it comes around. So when the funeral director confirmed if that was the date we wanted the funeral to be on, we said yes without a second thought.
If you read my last post, you will have known that my grandma was very sick recently. It’s with great sadness that I have to inform you that she did not make it out of the hospital room, let alone wake up from her coma. The day of her funeral was sunny and hot, just like Opa’s (my grandpa, her husband). Most things ran as planned and we farewelled Nena (which is what all her grandchildren called her) with as much love and respect we could give her.
As we also did after Opa’s funeral a few years ago, we decided to eat together nearby since the service concluded at about lunch time. I was looking forward to an all-you-can-eat-buffet, but my excitement was tainted as I felt like throwing up right before we got there. Unable to get anything out, I proceeded with the meal as best as I could.
Although I was grieving and will greatly miss Nena’s physical presence, I was feeling relieved that this arc was coming to an end – The past week had been physically and emotionally intensive on all of us, pretty much living at the hospital and then waiting in anticipation for her last breath, and then all the funeral planning and cleaning out her room.
I was looking forward to starting 2017 afresh, but it seems that that just wasn’t the plan.
As I had just finished my main meal and eaten as much as I could have with an upset stomach, I decided to go for dessert. I got two chocolate marshmallows, a small slice of cake and a few slices of fruit. Then I went to go sit down. And I really wish I hadn’t.
Modern day technology has enabled human beings to contact each other immediately whenever we want and wherever we are. It allows us to deliver news to each other in the blink of an eye, regardless of distance or time. News that we don’t want to hear sometimes.
News like “he just passed away from a heart attack”.
I don’t even know how to describe how I felt at that moment. Faint. Dizzy. My heart sank. Shock. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t respond properly. Doubt. Another one so soon? Was this the right person we were talking about? But he was so healthy the last time I saw him. And he’s still so young.. Sadness. Grief. But he was always so kind to everyone. Why do bad things happen to good people out of nowhere? And most of all, frustration.
As a Christian, there are times I want to be angry at God for the things He does that seem so illogical and cruel to us. Things we don’t understand – like taking two beloved people away from us in such a short amount of time. Two people that were so active in our lives and a blessing to everyone who knew them. But I can never be angry at God, even if I try. I know His knowledge and His plans transcend human understanding, and although I’m upset that this series of unfortunate events happened, I still hold onto the belief that everything will be okay if I continue to put my faith in God.
These two people were so selfless and kind, and I’m so thankful that He planted them in my life and in our family in the first place. Although they are no longer physically with us, their lives continue to be an example to everyone who knew them and they are still people I can look up to today. They were far from perfect, but it was evident that Christ’s light shone through them and their actions.
So yes I’m frustrated and shocked and sad, (and some may call me naive for all of this) but I find comfort knowing that these two people are back home with their Creator who loves them endlessly, and that one day we’ll meet again. I’m comforted in the promise and perfect plan that God has for all His children.
At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
– Lemony Snicket
I think I definitely hit the nail on the head when I said this year was one that would challenge me.